We're all familiar with the mantra, "the customer is always right", but just how much is too much?

Let me begin with a personal anecdote.

I've spent ten years in the hospitality industry, on and off. I've gone from serving gargantuan slabs of meat at a steakhouse to serving tea and cucumber sandwiches (crusts removed) to the upper echelons at a teahouse; from making egg-and-lettuce sandwiches at a bridge club (mind those dentures, soft fillings only) to serving alcohol and caviar at lavish end-of-financial-year parties taken care of by the corporate credit card.

At the steakhouse (no, not the chain where the staff stop mid-service to line dance for the customers), I worked as the "door girl". As well as taking payments and handling complaints, my role involved co-ordinating the night's two sittings, by juggling bookings with the many walk-ins we'd get on Fridays and Saturdays. Among the walk-ins, whom I would invariably shuffle off to the bar to wait for a free table, was a charming old gentleman (ahem) who deserves special mention.

When I greeted this customer and his female companion in the bar to accompany them to their table, he announced:

Not a flinch from his companion, not even when he followed up this delightful greeting with a slap to my backside!

Too far. I'm sorry, but in this situation, the customer certainly wasn't right. While he probably thought that he was just being humorous or friendly, it was simply inappropriate. Thankfully, I had a wonderful manager and she dealt with it appropriately and I didn't have to go near their table again for the rest of service.

Aside from old Prince Charming, I've had my share of "challenging" customers. When dealing with difficult customers-the demanding, the freeloading, the patronising, the mind changing, and the-world-revolves-around-me types-it's important to know where the boundaries lie.

What form do rude customers take?

Rude customers come in many shapes and sizes:

• the one who shouts "oi", whistles, or clicks their fingers to get your attention
• the one who is too familiar with you and calls you a pet name such as "sweetie", "love", or "dear"
• the one who changes their mind about the meal they've ordered after it's presented to them at the table
• the one who doesn't leave their knife and fork together when they've finished the meal
• the one who talks to you in a condescending tone because you're "just a waiter"
• the one who complains about their meal after licking the plate clean and still expects a discount
• the one who plants a bandaid in their meal in order to get a free meal
• the one who wants you to turn the air-conditioner on. And off. And on. And off.
• the one who gets a murderous look in their eye, even though they didn't make a booking, when you inform them the restaurant is fully booked
• the one who creates a fuss about something trivial to the embarrassment of the rest of the table, to the point where the other guests pull you aside to apologise for their friend
• the one who leaves the words "please" and "thank you" at home
• the one who waits at the counter for their silver-coin change

While the majority of customers are well-mannered and level-headed, a job in hospitality will usually involve tolerating a certain level of rudeness from certain customers. Sad but true. However, it's important to realise that you won't satisfy everyone. What's important is how you deal with rude customers.

Your responsibility

In a hospitality role, you're job is to try and ensure the customer has a positive experience and wants to return. If you're the waiter or receptionist or steward who answers the phone or greets people at the door, then you are the customer's first impression. You have the ability to leave a lasting impression that will influence whether the customer will have a memorable experience and whether they will return. (You never know, they might even leave you a tip!)

However, if your service is rude, indifferent, or plain poor, then the food or other aspects of their experience have to work twice as hard to win them back.

Most occupations involve some level of customer service, so even if you don't intend to stay in the industry, it's great training for the future.

Legitimate customer complaints

Where a customer has a legitimate reason to complain, then you should:

1. apologise and let them know that you'll fix their problem as soon as you can
2. if possible, find a solution yourself
3. if you can't find a solution on your own, communicate the problem to your manager or someone more senior than you
4. return to the customer with the solution and then check a short time later that they are happy with your solution

How to deal with rude customers

Be hospitable. Humour them. The best thing to do when faced with a rude customer is to be as polite as possible. Maybe they've had a bad day (though it's possible it's just part of their personality...)? You'll suffer no harm by being the "bigger person", and you might even turn their attitude around.

Occasionally a customer will overstep the line, perhaps with a prejudiced remark towards you, by disturbing other customers, or just being downright unreasonable. In my opinion, no hospitality worker should have to put up with this type of behaviour.

The confidence to deal with difficult situations comes with experience. When I first started, I was so eager to please everyone (my manager included), that at times I tolerated more rudeness than I should have. However, as my confidence in my abilities as a waiter grew, I became more assertive about my right to be respected.

If your manager is any good, they will be supportive of the tough decisions that from time to time you'll be required to make. If in doubt about what to say or do in a tricky situation, then defer to your manager. It's ultimately their call.

We'd like to hear from you!

Do you have a story about a rude customer that you'd like to share? How have you coped with an irate or condescending customer? How much do you think is too much?

To share your story, CLICK HERE .